did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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