I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
