Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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