Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
