I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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