Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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