What a fucking waste of an outfit
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
