just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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