I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
