That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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