I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize