My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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