At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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