I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
