walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
