pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize