So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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