think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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