The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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