We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
