I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
