Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
