My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
