Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
