i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
