Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
