hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
