I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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