i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This house was built for laser tag.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
