its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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