Duck Duck Cougar?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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