Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
