Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
