im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
