how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
