Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
