CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
