i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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