You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
