hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i need some magic done to my vagina
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
