you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
