No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
