it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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