So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
