I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
