everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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