I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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