I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
