So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
