3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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