these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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