just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
