To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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