god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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