I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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