Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
